2 march 2026
God fml. I spent all of yesterday smoking hard and then waiting for more shit.
I smoked thorugh about 40 bucks worth in about an hour. It makes me feel a bit ashamed how much this shit has chokehold on me.
I know many people think quitting is that easy. But if any of you have been in my shoes for a minute, You'll know that that's so wrong.
It started out about a year ago when I really, *really* started to use more. And in that timeframe, I met meth. Which now has turned my life into a wreck.
I can't believe this is how I spend my days. Good thing I have hobbies, including working on this website, that give me something to do all day besides getting high.
I try to keep this facade of sobriety up, but it's crumbling more and more. I hope in ten years that I'm not stuck in this place smoking myself away.
I hope I find something I like doing and that I'm able to make a decent living for myself. I'm considering being a plumber, peer counselor, or a phlebotomist.
My dream job is to be a tattoo artist or medical illustrator, but my bipolar depressive states create awful artblock.
Though I have been thinking up a story that I really want to turn into a graphic novel. But trying to compile the story, making a concise plot,
making sure the characters' backstories match up, and also planning the comic...it all seems like a lot. But big goals aren't achieved over night.
20 february 2026
Oral health is very important, especially if you regularly smoke. While tobacco is the most commonly smoked substance, other substances, with varying degrees of harm, can also be smoked. One such substance is crystal meth, which is notoriously associated with a condition known as “meth mouth”, which is characterized by tooth decay and advanced periodontal disease. While this is a severe and possible outcome of meth use, taking proper measures can reduce your chances of developing it.
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19 february 2026
I finally got my abilify shot a couple days ago. I was nine days late on it. After I got it, I stopped hearing and seeing things like I was starting too. Ate a whole tub of ice cream in two days. God no wonder why I like this anti-psychotic far more than the three I've been on before this one.